Show Date: November 17th, 2009
Welcome my brother-in-law in. C’mon. Take a bow.
Dan is my lucky charm. I’ve watched 2 chicks make out with the same guy and each other….and various illegal activities when he is present that I wouldn’t normally see. Because I am square. He is cool. Live it.
(Walking in)
Huge group of justturnedteenage girls walking in. They are dressed to impress too. They belong at Pusicfer. Not this rat trap.
Let’s chat up mom….
Cause we’re all lit up again…
It’s a birthday party! Nice!!
‘Sup, mama?
Dad is a kiss fan. Good. We give a few questions about BUCKCHERRY. No recognition. They went away from the light.
Me: “You may be able to skip a couple talks after this. If you know what I mean.”
Glassy stare
Me: “Drug and sex to begin with”
look of concern
Me: “You are a way cool mom, my parents handled that by getting cable tv. HBO taught me that stuff.”
This is a public fucking service announcement people. These are rock shows. Dress and bring minors accordingly. I’m not going to moderate my behavior. And, please. Who is? Get yourselves together and research opening acts. Or not. It is cool with me. I got a good laugh seeing the Dad with his 8 year old. Covering his face with his hand as Josh Todd is laying down “you’re crazy but I like the way you fuck me”.
Let’s pretend kiss doesn’t exist. For a minute.
BUCKCHERRY.
So.
Yeah. Not the crowd for you guys. I knew it would suck when I fucking jammed my 13 sided dice against the wall and it said I was in for serious damage. You know? I don’t. This is so bad I’m not even making coherent references. Wow. Portland. Really? This is what you are going to do?
ANYWAY.
Go see BUCKCHERRY. With Motely Crue. Or headlining. Or….fuck. I don’t know. Go see them. Totally rule. At least they will if the crowd is even a little supportive. And yeah. I sang the lyrics to “Crazy Bitch” as loud as I could and checked out the individuals who were with me. Prizes later.
Okay.
kiss.
Fucking kiss.
So. I’d like to pretend I can take the high ground here.
I can’t.
I slipped.
Forgive.
My 4th kiss show. I’m part of the problem. Not the solution.
Let’s give the treatment.
Gene is your left. Paul and Fake-Peter center. Fake-Ace is right. Fake Ace is from Portland. I guess that is exciting.
K.
What do you want me to say here? kiss Alive 35 Tour? Are they celebrating their life? The release of the Alive album?
Right now kiss is like one of the following. You pick!!
A)Going to a strip club in white pants. Buying a lap dance or two. Have fun. You aren’t at kiss. You come home and throw on the light. Bang. Red stains on your pants.
B)Marrying the hottest piece of ass in town. But she will only engage you sexually by jacking you off with a sock monkey
C)I shot my wad with A and B…..um, masturbating with a cheese grater.
I sat with the kiss Army.
It is like being a foot soldier for the ridiculous. Or. Never mind.
With your feet in the air and your head in the ground…
Final story. Let’s close this shit. Paul Stanley is on our side. I forget what song. For laughs. We’ll say. Strutter. Hot woman in the front row. Paul is making eyes at her. Motions for her to do a little spin so he can check out her ass. She refuses.
kiss you aren’t crazy and I don’t like the way you fuck me.
Yearoftheshow represents at kiss. Or tries. Out.
